How to last longer in bed is one of the most sought after ability by most men in the planet. Having a great sexual stamina and being able to have sex for a long period of time before ejaculating is a great sexual skill to have in order to become an extraordinary lover.
Why should a man last long in bed?
The answer to this question is simple. Not being able to last long in bed can affect the sexual relationship dramatically and cause great sexual dissatisfaction mainly to the sexual partner.
The man who suffers this sexual dysfunction will ejaculate and have his orgasm, but will not be able to last long enough to give pleasure and orgasms to his partner with sexual penetration.
This situation can cause a great deal of anxiety to the man who suffers the problem, and normally gets worst if it’s not treated or addressed.
How long should a man last in bed?
There is not a correct or definitive answer to this question, as there is not a certain time a sexual encounter should last. There are too many factors that come into play, such as the personal preferences, the body stamina and fitness, the time the woman needs to be stimulated to have an orgasm, etc.
Taking all these factors into account, most experts agree that a man should be able to last at least 20 minutes to be able to have consistent satisfactory sexual encounters and be able to satisfy his partner in bed.
This does not mean that a 5 minute quickie is not good, of course it is, but in general terms and in regular sex encounters, a man should be able to last 20 minutes to have a satisfactory sexual life.
Why men do have low stamina in bed?
There is mainly one common reason why men don’t last long in bed, and that is premature ejaculation. The vast majority of men will not be able to hold the erection after ejaculation, and need a recovery period of several minutes to be able to have an erection again.
The duration of this recovery period depends on each man, and it’s normally much shorter in younger men or physically fit adults. Therefore, if a man is not able to control his ejaculation and can’t have sex for more than a few minutes or even a few seconds, his sexual performance will always be very poor and will not be able to satisfy a woman in bed.
The number 1 problem to understand how to last longer in bed is premature ejaculation. Not being able to have a long lasting erection before ejaculation happens to most men at some point of in their life.
Experiencing premature ejaculation, and not being able to control the moment of ejaculation, can become sexual problem. And the worst nightmare for many men around the globe.
Most men have experienced this problem at some point of their life, especially when they have their first sexual encounters, as most men cannot control ejaculation due to the over excitement.
A case study done by the Journal of the American Medical Association reveals that 30% of men ejaculate too quickly on a regular basis. This is a shocking statistic in my opinion.
What is premature ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation happens when a man has an uncontrolled ejaculation just before or seconds after his penis is stimulated or just before sexual penetration.
Any type of sensitive penis stimulation will cause a man who suffers thus sexual dysfunction to ejaculate immediately, which normally leads to bad sexual relationships and sexual dissatisfaction and couple problems.
Premature ejaculation is probably the most common and male sexual dysfunction problem. Even though this sexual problem has permanent solutions, most men find it difficult to overcome as anxiety is one of the key problems that arise with it.
Why does premature ejaculation happen?
The causes for premature ejaculation are numerous and are not easy to diagnose in most cases. Rarely the problem is caused by a physical dysfunction, and most experts agree that premature ejaculation has its origin in psychological factors, such as anxiety, stress or depression.
Premature ejaculation diagnosis
The first step to get an accurate premature ejaculation diagnosis is to visit a doctor and get a physical exam to discard any type of physical sexual dysfunction. Most likely, this will not be the problem, as 99% of the cases, premature ejaculation has a psychological factor diagnosis.
The main reason why men ejaculate too early is because of the “performance anxiety” and nervousness of having a sexual encounter. This happens most often at a younger age, and in the first sexual encounters. As men grow older, ejaculation control becomes easier and men tend to last longer in bed, as anxiety and nervousness fade away.
But there are men who suffer this problem throughout their life, as they feel that they have an over sensitive penis and they feel the urge to ejaculate right after a short penis stimulation. This may sound like a physical problem, but the good news is that you can train yourself to control this sensitivity as well.
Psychological factors of premature ejaculation
As mentioned before, most premature ejaculation problems come from psychological factors. These factors or problems can have different a nature, but can affect the ejaculation trigger dramatically. Some of the psychological that can affect ejaculation performance are the following:
This is probably the most common problem for not being able to last longer in bed in our modern society. Stress has become a disease that affect our performance in anything you do in life, including the sexual performance.
If you are under stress or worry due to your work load or due to any other reason, make sure you find a way to solve this problem to make sure that this is the problem for your premature ejaculation.
Many men experience anxiety before they have sex, which causes them to have poor performances including having early ejaculations. This problem is much more difficult to address, as it requires mental control, and in most cases psychological help and mind training.
The fact of knowing they will have sex triggers worry and anxiety about how they will perform, and if they will be able to last long enough before they ejaculate. At the moment of penetration, their mind will be focused on not ejaculating too soon, which is negative thought.
Most of the time, focusing on not ejaculating instead of focusing on enjoying the experience will drive them to ejaculate much faster than they want. Some great tips to have better mind control is doing exercises like meditation, yoga and interesting tantric exercises on how to last longer in bed.
Physical Factors of premature ejaculation
Even though most cases of premature ejaculation, there are some physical factor that can lead to experiencing this sexual problem.
Over sensitive penis:
Like as many women have an over sensitive clitoris, men can also have an over sensitive penis. Normally, this over sensitive area will be the penis head for men, as it’s the most sensitive area of the penis.
This is specially so for uncircumcised men, as the penis head is covered with the prepuce foreskin. The covered skin becomes much more sensitive to touch, and can lead to faster and early ejaculations.
One great solution for men who have this condition is to pull the foreskin back and leave the penis head out while they sit at work or do anything without much movement. If you move too much the foreskin will go back to the normal position.
This exercise will help to get the penis head skin become less sensitive, as it will be expose to air and the underwear rubbing. It works very well if this is your case.
Poor Physical condition:
Studies say that men with poor physical fitness and condition normally have much less sexual stamina and capabilities to last longer in bed, and can suffer from premature ejaculation.
This factor is not applicable for all men in poor physical conditions, but it can be a cause for ejaculating too early when having sex.
How to treat premature ejaculation
As mentioned above, the vast majority of premature ejaculation cases have a psychological factor that triggers the problem. I recommend to try to solve the problem yourself using the mental and physical exercises you will find below or accessing the best education program I have ever seen to solve this problem called Extreme Stamina by Jason Julius.
If you are not able to solve the issue with these exercises I recommend to seek professional help with a sex expert or sexual counselor.
There are tricks and exercises that you can do to avoid this problem and solve this situation. Some of these solutions are shortcuts that won’t solve the problem forever, but there are solutions that will last for the rest of your life.
Premature ejaculation short-term solutions and exercises
You have 2 options when it comes down to fight against premature ejaculation. These are some short term solutions that you can use momentarily in order to be able to last longer tonight if you have sex with your partner.
I recommend to go for the long terms solutions, which are described in more detail a bit further down in this same article.
1. Use Condoms
Using a condom during sex will limit the direct friction of the penis on the vagina. Therefore the man will have less sensitivity, which can help to last longer having sex before ejaculation.
This method is specially effective for men with over sensitive penises. Beware not to use two condoms at the same time as the friction between the two rubbers can make them break
2. Masturbating before sex
This is a classic solution to last longer in sex, as if you have ejaculated already before having sex, a second ejaculation will normally take more time to happen.
This is a very effective method as it works all the time. The downfall is that you need to know that you will have sex and will take away any not planned or unexpected sex.
3. Getting her to orgasm first
You can make her have the orgasm before you start the penetration. You can give her oral sex until she has an orgasm and then start the penetration.
This solution can help you take away the pressure from your head to last long enough to make her orgasm.
This is OK, but if you need to do it every time, she will not be satisfied after a certain time as she will also want different types of stimulation.
4. De-sensitizers and duration sprays
Another short term effective solution that can help you delay ejaculation is using de-sensitizers or duration sprays.
You can get them in any sex shop and they are sprays or creams which will enhance your endurance and will make you last longer.
Using these sprays does not mean you will not feel anything, they will just de-sensitize your penis nerves through their main active ingredient which is “Lidocaine”, which is safe to use.
5. Stop and go technique
Another way to control ejaculation is to stop before you feel you are about to ejaculate and wait a few minutes before you continue with the penetration.
This option has a downfall which is that you may need to stop at an excitement peak moment and ruin her orgasm.
In many cases you will also lose your erection, which will require extra stimulation to continue and cut the momentum.
6. Squeeze Technique
It has been proven that squeezing certain parts of the penis or perineum can help to stop the ejaculation flow.
Pressing on the base of the penis head will stop the sensation to ejaculate and stop ejaculation from happening.
Another specific spot for stopping the ejaculation flow is pressing the perineum(at the base of the testicles), which will stop the ejaculation flow immediately.
7. Using the 7 and 9 method
This is a very effective method to control the thrusting speed and change the intensity of the sensitivity .
This method consists in doing 7 fast in/out strokes followed by 9 slow in/out strokes and repeat it all the time.
This rhythm will help guys to slow down the ejaculation build up by changing rhythms and will keep stimulating her continually, something she will appreciate.
8. Slow thrust method
This technique can be found in the Kama sutra and is very effective to learn how to control the moment of ejaculation.
This method consists in thrusting at a very slow rhythm and increase it very slowly.
Once your penis is inside the vagina, start by doing about 1 stroke every 3 to 4 seconds. Maintain that rhythm for about 4 to 5 minutes.
Then increase the rhythm a slow pace maximum of 1 stroke per second. If you feel the need to ejaculate simply stop thrusting leaving your penis inside the vagina. Wait until the ejaculation need is gone and start again.
9. Shallow penetration technique
Often times deep and full penetration may lead to a very fast orgasm due to a greater thrust and full penis stimulation.
This technique consists in doing shallow strokes, only introducing half of the penis inside the vagina, avoiding a deep intense stimulation.
You can alternate these strokes with deeper strokes in between, which will tease your woman who will not know what’s coming next.
Watch This Great Educational Video Below On How To Last Longer In Bed
Premature ejaculation long-terms solutions
Even though the short term solutions can work very well and give you great results, the ideal way to solve premature ejaculation problems to be able to last longer in bed is implementing long term solutions that will last forever.
There are some exercises and techniques you can use that will solve this problem forever. These solutions will take some time to be 100% integrated in your system and require discipline and some work from your side.
Long term solutions will also require a mix of physical and mental exercises to completely integrate and dominate your ejaculation.
Having physical control of your ejaculation muscles will give you the mental confidence to ejaculate whenever you wish.
These are the most effective long term solutions you can try to implement.
1. Kegel Exercises
Doing kegel exercises to strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle and all the pelvic floor muscles is a must for every men that lacks of ejaculation control.
The PC muscles and all the pelvic floor muscles are involved in the ejaculation process, as all these muscles are directly involved in the ejaculation contractions.
These muscles are responsible for your ejaculation, therefore it’s imperative to strengthen them to help you have complete control of your ejaculation any time. It’s like exercising your biceps to have stronger arms.
In addition, having a strong PC can help you longer and larger ejaculations which means having deeper and more intense orgasms.
How to do kegel exercises
Kegel exercises are easy to do and best of all you can do them any time, as nobody will notice you are doing them.
You can do them while you go to work in your car, sitting at home, sitting at your work desk, etc. This is the process to do kegels:
– Find the PC muscle
To find the PC muscle the best way to do it is stopping the urine flow when you go to pee. The muscle that stops the pee is the PC muscle.
Do this only to locate the muscle, stopping urine flow is not part of the exercise. Make sure to empty your bladder before you start to avoid any pain or urine loss.
– The Kegels
To do the kegels sit on a chair or lay down on a bed. To start just tighten the PC muscle for 5 seconds and then relax them for 10 seconds.
Slowly increase the times up to 15 seconds tighten and 15 seconds relaxing the muscle.
Doing these exercises for 5 minutes 3 times a day will give you a very strong pelvic floor that will help you to control your ejaculation forever.
2. Masturbating to the point of no return
This exercise consists in masturbating until you almost get to the point of no return and stopping before ejaculating.
You must try to get almost there and squeeze the PC muscle hard to avoid ejaculation. Do this exercise for 10 minutes stopping ejaculation 3 times can help you dominate your ejaculation and avoid premature ejaculation forever.
3. Mind control and meditation
In addition to the first 2 physical exercises you will need to do some mental exercises as well. Remember that in most premature ejaculation problems come from a mental factor.
One of the best mental exercises you can do are meditation and visualization. Simply sit in a comfortable position an visualize yourself as being a total sexual stud.
Imagine yourself with a hard rock erection, completely naked and about to have sex.
Visualize and feel that you have total control of the situation and you know exactly what to do and how to do it to have amazing sex for 30 minutes straight.
Imagine all the sexual positions you will do and how you will do them, and imagine and visualize how you will ejaculate at the time you want.
Don’t underestimate the power of meditation and visualization, as they will change your mental pattern of performance anxiety.
Do this every day for 5 minutes every day for a month, and try to emulate your meditation when you have real sex with your partner.
You will start to gain confidence and you will last longer with time and practice.
4. Slow Down And Get Out Of Your Mind
In my opinion this exercise is key for lasting longer in bed. The most common factor for early ejaculation is anxiety and worry of not performing well.
This can lead to premature ejaculation and even not being able to have an erection.
Your mind will be so worried and over excited about what you are about to do that you collapse and lose control of your body.
We have all experienced this sensation sometime in our life. Maybe when having sex with and extremely beautiful woman, or when we have sex for the first time.
Learning to get out of your mind and simply enjoy the ride without expectationsor having the feeling that you have to perform.
Sex is not about performing, it’s about enjoying it. Focus yourself on how much fun sex is, feel it, enjoy the sensations and let yourself go.
Don’t worry about when ejaculation will come and simply enjoy what you are doing. It’s like getting out of your mind and observing yourself from the outside having sex and fully enjoying it.
In conclusion, lasting longer in bed is possible and any man can overcome this terrible problem that has ruined so many sexual life’s and couples.
Trust yourself, so the exercises and have fun with your sex, your orgasms and your sexual fantasies.
There is an Awesome Program by Jason Julius to help you overcome premature ejaculation and increase your stamina FOREVER. I have done this course myself, and the techniques he uses are revolutionary, and most importantly, they do work.
Click on the image below to access this program.